I really need feedback..you may enjoy this in the meantime..could you help?

The pinstriped clouds of night sky above


change patterns in black and grey


with the rhythm of honey dew drips


pitter pattering on my window sills





In the relaxing transits of their forms


down fall my eyes


And off I drift to the valleys


of magic parades of dreams.





There i see you froth


as the nectar that waters lotus ponds.


And in the warm embrace of your splash,


I bloom as their Lilly blossoms.





You tease me as soft snowflakes


in your playful little games;


melt upon my leafy cheeks,


touching me ,not quite.





As your butterfly kisses open my eyes


at the golden break of day


I see the same old sight of pinstriped clouds


through my eyes' interlaced lashes.





In their changing form across the morning sky;


now patterns in black and gold,


I see beautiful notes of your love letters


in our very own secret scripts

I really need feedback..you may enjoy this in the meantime..could you help?
Sound, Meta and a great topic,





truly an enjoyable read my friend *^_^*
Reply:its very nice!





The the most important question you need to ask is:


do I enjoy writing poetry? Does it make me happy? if your answer is "yes" than its the most perfect poem in the world!
Reply:The way you bring back the pinstriped clouds but show hours have passed is effective.


There are some phrases to be savoured and some mush.


Keep at it.
Reply:Tacky
Reply:Write on
Reply:...glitter of hope after the rain.... meaningful...:)