Advice for a 20 yr. old Virgin Girl! (Please Answer)?

I am going to try to make this short and sweet and straight to the pt. Well most people consider me attractive, but I have always had low self esteem and no matter what I always feel ugly. Well I am going on my first date tonight and am so nervous. I don't know what to expect. I've never even been kissed before. The guy who I am talking to told me that as we get deeper into the relationship he expects to "touch" me. Not down there but as in my breast and butt and as the relationship gets more serious he expects me to be in the mood for more.





The main reason I never dated was bc guys always expect sex, and I am NOT ready for that at all. I suppose that this is what is hindering me, but I wouldn't feel right about it.





So what should I do and expect with this guy. He's 19 yrs. old and he wants a commited relationship. He also told me that he's over protective and can be jealous at times. Please give me advice. Am I supposed to kiss on the 1st date??

Advice for a 20 yr. old Virgin Girl! (Please Answer)?
Well first, an overprotective guy is not a good situation to get into.. But if you like him, and are up for dealing with that, then go for it. Second, you dont have to do anything you dont want to do. So if you feel the urge to kiss him, kiss him! if not dont! And it sounds kinda like he is going to be ok with going at your pace.. So I say you should go for it as long as you are up to the over protective ness.. Good luck!! :)
Reply:Speak from a guys and a fathers prospective, there is nothing wrong with kissing on to first date however, it can spark a flame in the guy that he might not let out. This means he will try to go farther with you tonight. Look at your first date with these guy as a test of respect. Don't kiss him directed but give him a kiss on the chic to see how he take it. If he try to go farther with you after that, all he wants is sex and you need to cut your date short with him.
Reply:There is no harm in kissing him after the date if you feel comfortable. but do not feel pressured into doing anything that you dont want to. you are young and so is he.





a guy that is really into you will be patient.


As for you self esteem being quite low that is something that you will have to deal with unless it could harm future relationships. think about things that make you feel attractive. accept compliments, dont feel anyone is better than you.





it is natural for us to aspire to be confident or to be like someone else, but trust me it will dampen you. ENJOY BE YOU. HAVE A GREAT DATE
Reply:my advice is don't go out with this guy, he certainly doesn't sound like a good catch. He EXPECTS you to let him touch you and go further? nuh-uh this guy is already showing signs that he's not interested in the fact that you are not ready. This guy sounds like the poster child of your reason of never having dated. Please, for your sake don't go out with him tonight. Make up an excuse and leave him behind. Find a guy that RESPECTS you and won't 'expect' you to do anything until YOU'RE ready.
Reply:kiss but no tounge. only once too...
Reply:Some parts of your story make him sound emotionally abusive....idk what u should do... do what feels right.
Reply:look i am going to be straight with you. if you feel you are not ready for a relationship then don'tget into one. as for your self esteem, then you should talk to a councilor and she what is going on. as for this guy you met it sounds like he want's to take control of your life. don't let him also keep in mind a man can walk out any time he wants so don't let your self be fool by their charm and all the nice things he say's to you. i wish you the of luck...
Reply:start dating him, see what you think, he has no control over you, just remember that! If you think you've got something then go with the flow, if he wants something and you don't yet then tell him you're still not ready, if he tries to force you break up with him! Just go with your gut feeling
Reply:WOAH! And this is your FIRST relationship with this guy?? Seriously, I think that he is being wayyy too forward! He should be happy enough to go on a date, hold your hand for now (as long as he knows youre not as experienced). This guy seems completely wrong for you. You should have someone who cares enough to wait and make sure you feel comfortabe before you sleep with him. At 19/20 you will find that a lot of guys will be experienced, but ust because of this it doesn't mean it's ok for them to behave in this way. An if he was that experienced with guys he would have been much more wise about this and would have gained your trust!! tut tut! From what youve said he's not after a committed relationship. Hes after sex! And over protective...he can sleep with and flirt with other girls but you can't do the same with guys..he will probably stop you from talking to your make friends also. You are not SUPPOSED to do anything hunnie. Sorry if you think im being a omplete cow hre, but this i all too familiar and I just KNOW that this guy is BAD news and will end up breaking your heart if youre not careful.


BUT, if you really wana go on this date with him then leave him wanting more and just give him a peck at the end of the night.


Sadly, I don't think that this is the sort of guy who will like you saying no. And will most likely make you beliee youe a freak when you turn him down. Be careful hunnie. X
Reply:wow so this guy ur first date is like gonna turn in to a serious relationship????? take it slow tell him ur not ready for any of that right now and if he really wants to be with u he will respect that! if not then u need to move on!!! good luck dont let him take advantage of u!!!
Reply:it kind of seems like he just wants to use you if hes saying things like he wants to touch you. he could also be lying about the fact that hes a virgin as well. you cant be for sure. but its your body and be sure to tell him at what times you feel uncomfortable and dont let him take advantage of you.
Reply:u dont have to do anything u dont want to do untill ur ready. thats important to know i wish i took this advise when i was told but i refused to listen. if hes over protective and can be jealous i would stay clear and find out what triggers him cause that could be dangerous situation
Reply:dont even worry about it.. i know you say your not ready but its no big deal.. but dont let him touch you if you dont want it... damn.. i lost my virginity like at 13! dont worry its not like your 30!!
Reply:I wish I could find a girl like you.
Reply:This all depends on how you feel about this guy and your comfort level with him. a 20 year old virgin is actually really great, it gives us all a break with all those stupid teenagers going around having sex and getting pregnant. Dating is not all about the sex it's about the feelings that are shared through one another. If this guy is just expecting to get some, he should be expecting a dumping because he doesn't deserve somebody like you. Anyways men are a distraction. A couple dates won't hurt.
Reply:You can kiss on the first date, but ONLY if your comfotable doing so. Don't let him pressure you into doing things you don't want to do, You should NEVER do ne thing unless you are comfortable with. And he can "expect" to touch ne thing he wants, But that is entirely up to you!! Don't feel obligated to let him do what he wants just cause you are in a relationship with him. and if you are going on a date doesn't sound like you are offitially together. And by the sounds of it, he sounds like a jerk!! And you can do better!!
Reply:News flash.......sex is fun.
Reply:Kiss only if you are comfortable. A peck on the cheek is totally appropriate or just relax and lean in for a short kiss. First, being a 20 year old virgin is a good thing! Now, you say that the main reason you have never dated is guys always want sex. Well, you can have a relationship with a guy and NOT have sex. I've done it in several long term relationships. But You need to find a guy that respects your wishes and your beliefs. This guy seems a bit overwhelming. Go out and kiss him if you want but remember a kiss isn't sex! You don't have to go further than a kiss EVER and it is always at your discretion. Also, if you haven't start developing FRIENDSHIPS with guys and take the entire sex thing out of the equation. Get to know guys on a platonic level and the proceed. Just remember - you have the right to say No, let a guy know that you don't plan on having sex but you want to have a relationship. The right guy will be supportive without being overwhelming. Also if you are religious this is something you should speak to your spiritual leader or God about.
Reply:Well, first things first:


DO NOT GO OUT WITH THIS GUY.





He's obviously in it for one thing, if he's telling you before the first date that he EXPECTS to touch you. That is so disrespectful! And if he's over-protective, that and EXPECTS these things from you, red flags and sirens should be going off in your head... sounds like a potential abuser - whether emotional and/or physical.





There's nothing wrong with not being ready... You need to find yourself a guy who wants to be with you because he loves you, not some perverted asshole who is going to pressure you in to things that you're uncomfortable with!





And you're not "supposed" to do anything on a first date that you don't want to. If you go out with a wonderful guy, and the feeling is right (and you'll know when it's right), then kiss. If not, then don't.





Please, just because you're 20, don't be pressured in to doing anything you're not ready for, and please don't go out with this guy, because he will be pressuring you....





There are others out there that will be patient because they'll like you for you.
Reply:No .. its part of activity which can lure to sex. Try to keep busy talking and knowing each other. Real and true love doesn't happens over nite .
Reply:only you can answer that question
Reply:yeah just kiss him if u actually do like him. it's no big deal
Reply:Never do anything you don't feel comfortable with..





Sure, you'll feel nervous before a first kiss (i remember i felt incredibly nervous!!) but just try and relax and let it feel natural.. If he leans in to kiss you, and you are feeling that you'd like to kiss him, then go for it.. But don't worry that you'll be expected to initiate a kiss or anything like that!





On a first date, not a lot happens usually... But as i say, just go with what you feel comfortable with. If he does 'touch' you and it doesn't feel right, feel free to tell him so. He does sound quite understanding about the whole thing..





The thing is, things like sex and being touched ought to feel natural.. And if he's being too forward or anything like that, let him know that you're not quite ready yet. Not all guys expect sex straight away, in fact, their opinion of a girl would probably lower if she did have sex with them straight away! They like to do the chasing, generally, and so don't worry about 'expectations' and such, just go at your own pace.