I HAVE A SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT with my husband. We are legally married, but we no longer enegage in sex!?

What do you all think of this arrangement? Why is this so? Well, the truth is, we separated for five long years.Later on, he came back to me, begging on his knees so I would accept him again! I no longer wanted to; 5 years were such long, terrible years!! But my mom advised me to take him back, because my two children by him were still so young; I certainly needed his financial support! And so, I agreed to take him back! When he asked me to have ANOTHER BABY, heck, I was so riled up!!! In my heart, his having abandoned us for such a long time, was so mean, so cruel, I no longer wanted to have another child! So, I refused; he adamantly also refused to leave me! He said I did not have to separate from him, that we would live together, but that, he would respect me, if I no longer wanted to have SEX WITH him!!! And, that's it! Imagine, we have been living together for the past how- many-years, since 1982, and he has not touched me, NOT ONE BIT!!!! We no longer quarrel;what do you think??

I HAVE A SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT with my husband. We are legally married, but we no longer enegage in sex!?
He is respecting you, simple as that. You said you no longer want to have sex with him and in my opinion, he is going to great lengths to respect your wishes. You should appreciate that because few men would be able to do that.
Reply:OH WOW!


It's Fine..... Can we have a casual Sex....... Please let me know about you...... WOW! what a patience...... Or may be he is crazy...... or may he is......
Reply:You sound like you have a good arrangement going. Especially if this is what you both want! You can be on the same wave length and enjoy each others company! This is way more important than sex. People often think that sex should be the most important thing in a relationship, but this is far from the truth. I'm happy that you've been able to work it out like this. Especially without quarreling. Normally I would say don't stay together for the kids, but the kids don't realize that nothing is going on in the bedroom, and they see a healthy family that isn't dysfunctional because of constant arguments! Hats off to you!
Reply:Sounds like you are not married but in a 'financial' arrangement.





I think if you like the arrangment, AND he does as well, then there is nothing wrong with it. But I would bet he doesnt like the way things are, and niether do you.





Any man or wife who doesnt WANT to have sex at least once a month has something wrong with them mentally.





I would suggest marital counciling.
Reply:Whatever floats your boat. You do know he's getting it some where right?
Reply:It's called sweet woman, "Psychological abuse",or in laymans terms,"Emotional Abuse"!!! He wants you to do what he wants,or else!!! He thinks he's so special that he needs no words!!! Girl,pleeeese see this for what it really is and get him gone!!! My Mom is like yours,but that was their day,not ours,ok?
Reply:As long as you dont mind if he goes out and gets some action once and a while, why not? You are basically roommates and co-parents but not a couple. If it works, it works. I just wonder about whether each of you will be able to handle the other one dating other people. Are both of your romantic lives over now? I know that you would have trouble finding someone. Being a mother who is looking for love can be tricky, but having your 'ex' living with you too would make most guys bolt. They would just naturally assume that you are still physically intimate with him. Good luck.
Reply:IF U WANT THAT FINE BUT IF HE'S DOING SOMEONE ELSE U HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE MAD
Reply:It sounds depressing. I hope you have a relationship with someone else.
Reply:So, it's an open relationship? He has other outlets for sex? Do you?
Reply:And someone said women think about sex as much as we men do, I admire you for lasting this much but in my opinion you never really forgave him so it would have been better that you separated.
Reply:find the love and affection that your husbnd is not givin to you some where else then
Reply:very strange arrangement. I guess it boils down to... are you happy? If so then who cares the arrangement. Are there other sexual partners? I don't see how a person can just give up sex for that long without getting it from someone else.
Reply:if your happy in a non sexual relationship then stay in it you are not obliged to engage in sexual activity just because you are married. in case your wondering i am a man from scotland
Reply:I think neither of you are getting what you want and you are wasting your time
Reply:Well your using him, but he is giving you permission, and I guess anything between consenting adults is fine... Wouldn't suit me, I'd rather be on my own and be able to dream about meeting the right person. but thats me, and your you.
Reply:He's gettin mud for his turtle somewhere. I'm a bettin...
Reply:WOW!! what a life.
Reply:What your question, basically. I feel like reading some story, which I dont like as you are being unfair to your husband.
Reply:I think that everyone's relationship is different. If you're happy and he's happy, it's not our business.


However, he's been with you since 1982. That's a long time to hold a grudge for a 5-year mistake earlier on.


You're no longer fertile, I'm guessing, why not go for it?
Reply:move on or get a sancho
Reply:I don't want to break your bubble... but please try to find the true motive behind your husband's cooperation.





If he has been graced with true love... Good for you. If it is anything other than that... God bless you.
Reply:my answer is: why fix it when its not broke? if youre already happy getting support and security from him, and hes also happy just being with you then why the trouble to ask? unless you already want to get some.
Reply:First I don't think I would trust a man if he left me alone with his 2 kids for that ling and then wanted to come back. As for the other do you both never plan to have ANY sex again? if you are both not going outside of your marriage for sex it might be hard on both of you in the long run, and if you expect him not to EVER have sex again that might be asking too much of a man and he might cheat on you. I don't know much about your arrangement but that is what I would worry about.
Reply:if you no longer have feelings for him, then maybe you shouldn't have sex w/ him anyway.
Reply:If the two of you have a healthy relationship, why question it? If you DO want sex, just tell him.
Reply:you should be in a same sexes